Discover why self-trust feels hard and how to build it
Trust. Yeah, this beasty little thing. It is good for yourself and your relationships. We all know this. Trusting yourself is the golden rule. Sometimes it feels effortless; other times, it feels impossible. Why? Because trusting yourself means living out what you already know to be true.
When my clients say, “I don’t know,” I pause. More often than not, they do know. What holds them back isn’t a lack of knowledge—it’s fear. Fear of change, fear of overwhelm, fear of feeling exposed. Deep down, we know. The real question is: What’s holding you back from acknowledging your truth?
Often, it’s attachment. We’re attached to an idea, a relationship, or a version of ourselves that feels safe, even when it keeps us stuck. Sometimes, we’re so entrenched in denial—not wanting the truth to be true—that we freeze. We cling to what feels familiar, burying our inner knowing under layers of doubt and hesitation.
But here’s the thing: Trust doesn’t eliminate fear—it transforms it. Trusting yourself isn’t about never feeling scared. It’s about listening to that quiet voice inside, the one that knows what you need, and choosing to act – despite the fear.
When trust feels impossible
Sometimes, trusting yourself feels out of reach — not because you don’t know, but because you feel disconnected. From your body. Your breath. That quiet inner rhythm that tells you what’s true.
You might understand something clearly in your mind, but your body’s still holding back. Or your body already knows, but your thoughts are loud and insistent. True trust happens when mind and body begin to align — when they stop fighting and start listening to each other.
And sometimes, the struggle goes even deeper. The ways we learned to feel safe as children, the stories we inherited, the roles we played — they all shape how much space we allow ourselves to take up today.
That’s why building self-trust isn’t about pushing through or “just deciding.” It’s about meeting yourself gently. Over and over again. It’s listening to your quiet yes — and honoring it, even when it scares you. It’s choosing what feels alive, rather than what feels familiar. It’s returning to your breath, your senses, your raw and honest longings — the ones that whisper underneath the noise.
Self-trust grows slowly. One small yes at a time. One soft, brave step. And eventually, you realize: you’ve always known.
You were simply learning to listen.
How to Build more Trust in Yourself
So how do you actually start building self-trust — especially when it still feels shaky?
You begin small. You begin now. Trust isn’t built in one big leap; it grows through small, consistent acts of self-alignment. It begins when you stop abandoning yourself in the little moments. Moments where you’d usually say yes to something that feels like a no. Moments where you actually know what you need – and this time, you listen.
Example 1: You’re exhausted, but a friend texts: “Wanna come out tonight?” Old reflex: say yes to be nice. New choice: pause, breathe, check in. You write back: “Not tonight – I need rest.” That’s self-trust.
Example 2: You’re feeling something in your body – tension, sadness, desire – but you’re about to scroll past it or numb it away. Instead, you stop. You put a hand on your belly. You say to yourself: “I’m here. I’m listening.”
That, too, is self-trust.
Self-trust isn’t about doing everything perfectly.
It’s about creating tiny moments where your inner truth and outer action begin to line up.
Instead of avoiding the fear you meet it. You ask it gently: What’s the worst that could happen?
Fear often shrinks when you look it in the eye — or even love it, just for a moment.
And then, you test yourself — not to prove anything, but to grow.
Because trust doesn’t mean certainty.
It means: I’ll find my way, even if it’s messy.
It means allowing yourself to get it wrong on the way to what’s true.
Like the time I hit “publish” on something that scared me. I felt exposed, unsure — but I did it anyway.
And it was okay. I didn’t fall apart.
I grew.
Let it be tender. Trust grows best in an atmosphere of kindness, not pressure. Speak to yourself like you would to someone you love. Let go of the inner critic for a moment.
Instead, forgive yourself. For all the times you didn’t trust. For all the ways you silenced your own voice.
Write it out:
I forgive myself for…
I forgive myself for…
I forgive myself for…
Until the words stop coming.
Trusting Yourself Unlocks Your Truth
It creates space for realness, connection, and growth.
You step out of the roles you thought you had to play — and into the truth of who you are.
So I’ll leave you with this: Do you trust yourself and your life?
What is one small, loving thing you can do today to deepen that trust?
The universe — and yes, your pussy — already know the way.
So breathe. Listen.
And above all: trust yourself wildly.
