Sex coaching. For some people, the words sound exciting. For others, about as relaxing as a trip to the dentist without anaesthetic.
Will I have to share intimate details? Will I be expected to demonstrate anything? Is this therapy? And what if I cannot even explain exactly what the problem is?
Those questions make sense. Sexuality is one of the most personal parts of our lives. At the same time, many women have learned that they should appear effortlessly confident about it. They are expected to know what they want, be open-minded, have fun, look good and, ideally, not have a complicated body.
No wonder the idea of talking about it can take some courage.
You do not need to arrive with a finished story
Some women contact me with a very specific concern. They barely feel desire anymore, feel ashamed of their body, rarely or never reach orgasm, or experience sex more as a performance than an encounter.
Others simply write: “Something does not feel right.”
That is enough, too.
Our first conversation is not the moment to unfold your entire sexual history in ten minutes. We look at what is troubling you now, what you would like to change and whether my way of working feels right for you. Just as important is whether you feel comfortable enough with me to be honest.
Chemistry is not a pleasant extra in coaching. It is what allows you to show up without having to play yet another role.
What a session with me can look like
We talk, of course. But we do not stay only with explanation and analysis.
Sexuality does not happen solely in the mind. I therefore include body awareness, emotions, inner images and the stories you have learned about yourself and your sexuality. Sometimes we work with a somatic practice. Sometimes we look at a sentence that has quietly shaped your experience for years. Sometimes one surprisingly simple question changes more than a long explanation.
You remain fully clothed. There is no physical or sexual contact between us. You decide what you want to talk about and how quickly we move.
And no, you do not have to do anything “correctly”. For many women, performance pressure is already sitting in the room. We do not need to invite it in as a third guest.
What we might explore
Coaching often begins with sexuality and soon leads straight into the rest of life.
Perhaps you find it difficult to voice your desires because you are afraid of being too much. Perhaps you watch your body from the outside during sex and lose touch with what you feel. Perhaps you say yes because you do not want to disappoint anyone. Or perhaps you know exactly what you do not want but have little access to what you desire.
Past relationship experiences, shame, body image, boundaries, low desire or difficulty reaching orgasm may also play a part. We do not treat your concern as an isolated problem. I am interested in how your body responds, which relationships have shaped you and what solutions you have already tried. Even a pattern that causes difficulties today usually made sense at some point.
For me, sex coaching is not a repair programme for a supposedly broken sexuality. It is a space where you can understand yourself more deeply and begin to have new experiences.
Coaching and therapy are not the same
Sex coaching is not medical treatment and does not replace psychotherapy. In coaching, we work with questions, wishes and changes that do not require the treatment of a mental health condition.
I also offer psychotherapy in Germany under a Heilpraktiker permit for psychotherapy and am completing postgraduate training in systemic psychotherapy. If a therapeutic setting would be more appropriate, or if your concern should first be medically assessed, I will say so openly. Coaching and therapy do not quietly blur into one another in my work.
I will not promise a particular result after a fixed number of sessions, either. People, bodies and relationships rarely follow marketing plans. We look together at what you need, what is changing and whether our work continues to be useful for you.
What good sex coaching means to me
You should not feel judged. You should be able to ask questions, disagree and change your mind. There can be humour, too, because sexuality is serious enough and sometimes wonderfully absurd.
Above all, you should not have to conform to a new idea of “good sexuality”. I am interested in your sexuality. Your body. Your boundaries. Your desire. And your lack of desire, too.
Perhaps your path leads towards more pleasure. Perhaps it leads to a clear no. Perhaps you discover that you want something entirely different from what you expected at the beginning. All of that can be movement.
If you would like to find out whether working together feels right, you can read more about my sex coaching for women in Munich and online. You can also send me a message directly.
Stay true. Stay bold. Stay you.
Big Love & Pleasure from the Allgäu,
Mia